A Wii Restrospective: Why I’m An Asshole

Fanboy: 1) a flattened child used to cool one’s face down 2) a Nintendo fan.  I’ve been dubious about the Wii U – I don’t think it’s going to go the way of the Dreamcast, but I do think it will go the way of the Wii.  After the recent Nintendo Direct announcement [this article was written a while back - Ed], I’ve tilted my head to one side like a curious dog.  It’s the promise of new Mario and Zelda games that have suckered me in again.  I guess this fanboy will eventually buy the glorified DS.  And it will have 5 ‘great’ games on it, within the barrage of ‘Dance, Dance, Super Fire Pony’ and the like.  So – with that to inspire me - I decided to see what remaining Wii games were left on my shelf…

Pikmin 2 was a wonderful game.  They got rid of the 30 day timer and also introduced 2 additions – the burly purple pikmin and the tiny cute (while simultaneously creepy) white pikmin.  It incorporated real time strategy with a beautiful garden world to explore.  It was also a Gamecube game.  So to say I have it as part of my Wii collection says it all, really.  There’s a song by Reel Big Fish called Sellout… regardless, the new Wii control, which made the Wii-mote pretty much a computer mouse, greatly improved the controls.  The game itself – I’ll say it like a goldfish – is wonderful.  Did it justify buying a Wii version?  No, but then I’m an asshole.

Metroid Prime Trilogy falls (again) under the ‘old Gamecube game’ category (apart from Corruption, of course).  The Wii controls are justified in this case, as the precision aiming is perfect for a game that didn’t quite get it right on the Gamecube.  The package is 3 games – each in the high 90’s score – bundled into one disc.  As such, it’s probably my favourite Wii game.  Not as much of an asshole this time around.  What’s it about?  It’s Metroid in the format of a third person shooter, and it kicks ass.  Why?  Atmosphere, music, gameplay and big ass bosses.

The Mario Galaxy games are some of the most inventive and joyously fun games I’ve ever played.  Stepping onto a spherical planet for the first time was mind blowing, and there’s something so liberating (although on a linear path) of soaring through space and collecting twinkly  bits of stars with the Wii-mote.  The sequel surpassed the original, which is a feat in itself, and never missed a beat.  These are true modern classics, and a reason to pick up a fifth hand Wii for 30 quid.  My only criticism is the endless, ‘dun dah dun dun dun dah’ motif after getting a star.

Skyward Sword is essentially the last great game that came out for the Wii.  It didn’t reach the heights of previous Zeldas (too many fetch quests, too linear, and not enough side quests), but it did – once you got used to it – make sword fighting an inspired thing.  It certainly beat the shit out of Twilight Princess, which was Nintendo’s ‘please the fans ’ game, especially with the conversion to Wii.  Play Skyward Sword and then Twilight Princess straight after – it’s like Link’s had a stroke.

Epic Mickey.  Yeah… I still haven’t gotten around to finishing it yet.

That’s about it for my Wii collection – about a 5^th of my 360 collection.  That’s why the Wii sucks.  That’s why I have a feeling I’ll have about 5 games at the end of the Wii U’s life cycle.  5 games, £300 console.  Doesn’t add up.  But – like Pikmin and Metroid – I’m still super psyched for the Windwaker HD.  ‘Cos I’m an asshole.

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