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Brian Blessed ‘Has Never Tossed A Dwarf’ He Claims

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Brian Blessed’s recent behaviour has left many to question his sanity, after the following photograph was taken of him riding a Henry hoover on the Mario Kart rainbow road:

brian blessed

Recent allegations have come to light involving Brian ‘tossing a dwarf’, of which he refutes outright.

‘Brian has never tossed a dwarf,’ said friend, Legolas. ‘He may have tossed himself, but that’s not the same thing.’

Asked if Brian had ever been inappropriate to the blonde, sexy man, Legolas burst into tears and told us to turn the tape off.  We didn’t. What he disclosed is far too shocking to publish.

Regardless of these claims, Brian will be appearing as a new character in the HBO series, Game of Thrones.  His character will commit incest, and of course there will be a scene of him tossing Peter Dinklage.

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