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Published May 13, 2013

Dog Bin

Namco Bandai have created a qualification for those who have been brave enough to complete the 2011 sado-fest, Dark Souls. It’s called the DSC, or Dark Souls Certificate, which rests somewhere between an NVQ (Not Very Qualified) and GNVQ (Generally Not Very Qualified).

Oliver Bukake, an accountant at Phones R 4 Me Y? said, ‘I studied hard for my accounting certificate, but really I only ended up wiping my arse with it.  It was only after completing Dark Souls, and adding it to my resume, that I got the job I’m in now.’


Asked why it is such a highly regarded qualification, Steve Layman of Dead End Recruitment said, ‘The concept of being thrown into the deep end, of starting out with no clue whatsoever, of failing countless times before you finally become a distinguished asset with transferable skills.  Of being able to kill the Ceaseless Discharge.  These are the qualities employers are looking for these days.’

Peter Serafinowicz, most famous for the voice of Darth Maul and Paul McCartney, was asked why it was such an important game. With his deep, Liverpudlian accent, he replied, ‘Aah, Dark Souls.’

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