Features, Games

Games For Every Hangover

As the conversational lubrication of a few drinks slowly morphs into the complete intoxication and possible social embarrassment of a late night binge, not even the greasiest of greasy kebabs can soften the impending blow of a hangover the next day. When moving from bed to the sofa becomes as difficult a task as scaling Mount Everest is for even the most intrepid of explorers, a day in front of the TV becomes the obvious choice of activity for the indefinite future. Gaming, though, can be a difficult task whilst in your most delicate of states as a throbbing head-ache and sickening dizziness combine to all but nullify a players reactions and hand-eye co-ordination. Fear not eager gamer, here is a list of games chosen for each specific type of hangover, so you can continue to earn gamerscore no matter your drink of choice.

The Beer Hangover – Temple Run 2

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Although the many pints of fluids have since left your body – ┬ábe it in multiple toilets, in a phone booth or all over your mum’s best carpet – a large volume of gas still remains, filling your gut up like a blimp ready to replicate the Hindenburg disaster. Movement can become risky and lengthy gaming sessions are a big no-no as a trip to the toilet may be needed at any time. The choice of game then becomes obvious – Temple Run 2. Unwanted bowel movements no longer pose a problem as the game can be taken with you, preserving those precious high scores. Temple Run’s short and snappy sessions also makes it easy to take frequent breaks, helping to stabilize the room from spinning around in your head.

The Vodka Hangover – Hexic HD

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Isn’t vodka a wonderful thing. Not only does it mix with almost every non-alcoholic drink ever invented, it’s unobtrusive taste makes quickly consuming vast quantities a breeze. Unfortunately though the drinking of multiple drinks take their full effects at once: one second you are pulling the truffle-shuffle to the latest tunes, the next you wake up stark naked on the floor of a room you do not recognise. Whilst memory killing effects of vodka may mean that the embarrassing experience of the night before won’t ever be remembered, your brain needs to be slowly eased back into function during a gaming session. Hexic, the oldest puzzle game on the 360 (it came installed on the hard drive of the earliest models), becomes the perfect solution – a game with enough complexity to work the brain but at a slow enough pace so not to confuse your poor, throbbing head. For those who purchased later models of the 360, Hexic 2 is available on the marketplace to buy.

The Wine Hangover- Flower

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When a heavy binge deserves a touch of middle-age class, ditch the litre bottles of scrumpy cider for a couple bottles of wine. People will awe at your high levels of sophistication as you pretend to know all the complex flavours within the wine (in reality you just read the label). However the act of a pompous wine expert is a draining one, meaning vital water pitstops are forgotten. The result next day is a banging headache as the dehydration sets in. Gaming seems an impossible task as even concentrating on your plain ceiling becomes a struggle. As complex gameplay goes out the window the only option is for a calm, relaxing title with soothing qualities to help you through the pain. PSN’s flower is then the perfect option, as it is more of an interactive piece of art rather than a video game. Take control of the wind as you blow petals around open fields in a game even less taxing than Avatar: The Last Airbender. The game’s aim is not to be challenging, rather it is to promote positive emotions in the player – certainly a good way to banish the painful emotions of regret from the night before.

The Tequila Hangover – Grand Theft Auto IV

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Grand Theft Auto may seem an odd choice. The high-speed gameplay, complex controls and large amount of attention required may be the exact opposite of what hung over gamers would enjoy. However as the previous nights tequila consumption resulted in an empty gun next to your bed and blood stains all over your clothes, it’s safe to assume that you are a wanted man. It is then time to man up and ignore the hangover; rather than wallowing in self pity preparation is needed for the inevitable future clash with the law. Grand Theft Auto IV then becomes necessary training, although real-life law enforcement may not give up as easily as the LCPD.

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Callum

When not ambling his way through a journalism course, Callum likes to play and write about games. Despite having a huge back-log of titles that need completing you'll normally find him playing FIFA Ultimate Team, swearing at the referee every time a decision goes against him.

2 Comments

  1. Max

    Don’t forget the kebab hangover!

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