Pirates, they’re a wacky bunch aren’t they. Ever since the acting chameleon that is Mr Depp first dressed up as a pirate everyone seems to have forgotten about the slavery, alcohol abuse, murder, and to put it politely, the slavery, abuse and murder of women. When some fey man prances around like Keith Richards and wears eye liner we all swoon and ignore their illustrious past. Pirates are now a hot property, so much so that they’re appearing in all sort of weird games on iOS, today’s game that features the wanderers of the sea is Potshot Pirates.
Crystal Maze was cool, this is a simple fact. So cool that when it appeared in the awful film version of Dungeons and Dragons it made one scene almost cool. For those not old enough to remember, or born in an area that wasn’t in the UK, the Crystal Maze was a game show which featured Richard O’Brian, who wrote The Rocky Horror Show. He led a band of men and women around a disturbingly well designed set in a studio featuring; Aztec Zone, Industrial Zone, Medieval Zone and Future Zone. In each zone various challenges were submitted in different rooms and with that came a time limit, if said contestant lost or ran out of time they were locked in the room until their team mates deemed their life valuable enough to warrant sacrificing some of the game shows money to buy back their pathetic existence.
Chances are if you own an iOS device, you’ve played a runner game. From Temple Run to Jetpack Joyride, the genre and platform are a perfect match with short, sharp, pick-up-and-play sessions lending themselves perfectly to gaming on the go. Does Sky Hero, the latest offering from mobile publishing giants Chillingo, offer anything new to the genre to really stand out from the crowd?
Mini Dash is a long in production and eagerly anticipated game from Pocket More Games, and my goodness it is great! With three huge worlds to navigate through, brilliant graphics, and the ability to have you hooked for hours, it makes for a fantastic iOS game.
Malcolm in the Middle’s dad is a crystal meth cook. To be more accurate, the actor Bryan Cranston dons this new career path as Breaking Bad’s Walter White. To watch this Jekyll and Hyde-like character is a master class in acting, and full credit is due to the Emmy Award winner (3 consecutive years nonetheless).
Walt is a fifty year old chemistry teacher (and part-time cashier), a remarkably intelligent man whose life could have been very different, a man trying to support his pregnant wife and disabled son (played by RJ Mitte, who suffers from cerebral palsy in real life), a man who discovers he has lung cancer…
I have never made secret my love for Mirror’s Edge, I wrote an entire love letter to it here. It may seem like a bit of a faux pas to start a review for one game by talking about a love of another but for me it’s like telling your friends that your girlfriend/boyfriend looks like Mylene Klass/ David Tennant, the comparison is more praise than anything else you can give. Endless Road is close to aesthetic perfection as Mirror’s Edge.
What is a pony? I genuinely have no idea. Is it a short horse? Or a breed of horse? I am 26 and I have only just come to the realisation that this is a piece of information I am missing from my brain. All I know about ponies is that there are 3 types of people who truly like ponies. The first is little girls, this seems like a given. The average little girl like ponies and kittens and ballet. “Pink stuff” I refer to it as. The second person to like ponies are the middle England upper class that enjoy watching Crufts and fox-hunting. The final person to enjoy ponies are bronies. To explain what a brony is I should first say, they scare the hell out of me. These are generally guys in the mid twenties who watch My Little Pony cartoons in a supposedly ironic way but then also have an undying love for it. They’re weird, really weird, the kind of weird that leads to a hotel room being filled with photos and red string leading from one face to another.
Formula One is something that I’ve never had an interest in. The loud noise and repetitive nature always perplexed and bore me rather than rattle my core and send me into a screaming frenzy. The sight of cars that can go so fast in such a small amount of time being forced to screech to a halt to get round a corner is more of a confusion than titillating. And the process of the drivers doing 70 odd laps was mind numbingly dull. It should be said now that no sport has ever entertained me, I’ve tried with football, I tried rugby and I even tried snooker but each I felt was too long. Being the walking hypocrite and contraction I am I did for a very short time find golf fascinating, not because of the skill or excitement, but because the quiet sound of some birds tweeting, the occasional golf swing and the bright green colours would send me into some sort of serene fugue state.