Features, Games

Top 5 Best Uses Of Nudity In Games [NSFW]

The following, as the title implies is NOT SAFE FOR WORK. Get on your mobile phone and make sure no one is looking over your shoulder. This list is not about the most titillating nudity in games, many other sites have done that cheap list of knockers, this is a list of where nudity was used for a purpose, be it repulsion, story or to divert expectations. With this list and my thoughts I’m hoping to show people that Leisure Suit Larry isn’t the only example of nudity in games and it is not a good example of it to start with. So for the over 18′s among us or the under 18′s who have no adult supervision please enjoy this list and don’t complain that I didn’t warn you that it is NSFW.

GTA IV – The Lost and Damned

Congressman Stubbs

GTA IV Congressman Stubbs Penis Naked The Lost And The Damned

In The Lost And Damned you play as Johnny. As Johnny you have to put up with seeing some weird stuff, crack heads, annoying rich people who want everything made of gold and you also have to see The Congressmen’s Penis (The name of a John Grisham novel I believe as outed on The Bugle podcast). When you turn up to a country club, that’s in the middle of a city, you are shown to Congressman Stubbs who is at the time receiving a massage. When he gets down to the nitty gritty of why you’re there the masseuse is sent away, this is where you receive your mission to kill his uncle so Stubbs can get more money. We are then treated to an ‘Austin Powers’ or ‘Carry On’ film homage in the form of the congressman’s penis being hidden from view with subtle scenery and camera placement, until finally Bam, there it is, swinging in time with no music.

The reason that I think this is an interesting use of nudity is all down the gender, there isn’t any female nudity in the GTA franchise and considering its audience is, not wholly but mostly, made up of young male adults this is the most shocking body part they could have shown to the alpha males and beta boys. The point is that we see female boobaloobs and whatnot a fair amount of the time these days in games. But the male baby factory is still a no go area, when someone like Rockstar decides it’s about time we give some screen time to the pink pistol then hopefully others will follow suit, but only when it is required. Please don’t misinterpret me, I don’t want every game to feature junk, but sometimes, when justified, it adds something to a game, more than just a penis I mean.

Shadows Of The Damned

Paula

Shadows of the Damned Paula Naked Hell Boobs

Shadows of the damned was a brilliant collaborative effort from Shinji Mikami (Resident Evil’s creator), Suda51 (No More Heroes, Lollipop Chainsaw) and providing the music was Akira Yamaoka (Silent Hill). When these guys came together to present their version of hell many gamers expected a lot and many gamers were disappointed. I personally thought the game stood up quite well, the writing was better than the gameplay, but all in all it was an entertaining way to spend 8 hours. The whole game revolves around Garcia “Fucking” Hotspur trying to find his lady, Paula, who has been taken to hell by the demon lord Fleming. The game is sexualised and childish, with a floating demonic skull called Johnson and your weapon being named Boner you know what kind of writing team this had. Sex is used a lot in the game, whether it’s the demon clone of Paula trying to seduce Garcia before exploding into an enemy or Hell itself taunting Garcia with images of his girlfriend naked, as seen above. The scenes where hell is trying to break Garcia are brilliant, not because of the pixel nipples on screen but because it’s part of the world, it’s there to taunt and to distract Garcia from the goal of saving the whole of Paula, not just her fleshy pointy bits.

Metal Gear Solid II

Raiden

Metal Gear Solid 2 II Raiden Naked Escape

Raiden is someone who truly divides gamers and fans of Metal Gear Solid, many hated him from the start, he was after all part of the greatest bait and switch in history. After the joy that Metal Gear Solid I brought to many, they went into Metal Gear Solid II: Sons of Liberty wanting more Snake, they got through the tanker level and it was awesome, “HOORAY FOR SNAKE” they all cried and then Kojima pointed and said “Hey what’s that over there?” as we all looked over Raiden appeared. The androgynous Bowie like Raiden. Personally I liked Raiden, I liked him before Revengeance which is the hipster thing to say I appreciate.

Three quarters of the way through the game Kojima does is again, he points and screams “Look it’s the Goodyear Blimp” and we all looked again, when we looked back Raiden was being tortured, all his items and his clothes were stolen. Then as a player we had to run around a base dodging guard patrols and spotlights all the while cradling what we presumed was a bit of meat and 2 veg under those hands. This part of the game was great, no more gun ho attitude, no more relying on gadgets, this was proper stealth gameplay and vulnerability in the form of a naked man with long platinum blonde hair and a face that screamed “Girls will cosplay as me”.

Kane and Lynch 2: Dog Days

Kane and Lynch

Kane and Lynch Dog Days 2 II Naked Torture

I am fully prepared in this piece to be accused of being a freak or very interested in male nudity. Neither of which is true in its base form, however the point of this article is not to give 14 year old male gamers something to play whilst exploring puberty and themselves, this list is here to show that in certain circumstances that nudity in games can be used for something other than titillation  it can be used to further a story or emphasise a scenario; Kane and Lynch nailed this idea with brutal accuracy.

The game is all about our favourite two psychos, the buddy movie from hell if you will, and the worst couple of days of their lives. After a job goes wrong they need to get the hell out of dodge, or Shanghai as it’s also known. Being chased by two different gangs and the police Kane and Lynch at one point are tortured, Lynch’s girlfriend is raped and killed in the process. After being thought to be dead Lynch is disposed of only to awaken and proceed to save Kane. They’ve both been brutally sliced up with box cutters, after escaping a disgusting bathroom Kane and Lynch must play the next level naked on the streets of Shanghai. The reason this is so affective is that it’s not a pretty sight, the heroes are scarred and dripping blood, their bodies are old and unpleasant to start with but after this it is clear how far south the plan has gone. The nudity could be seen as a humour thing, but with the writing and directing of the cut-scenes it’s more used as rather blunt indicator of how far they have fallen.

Dante’s Inferno

Cleopatra

Dante's Inferno Cleopatra Naked

Dante's Inferno Cleopatra Naked Nipple Explosion Imps

I had to use two images above firstly because my words can only do so much but secondly because I want other people to get that same feeling between the stomach and the chest I had, that sensation where it feels like you’ve just fallen a few inches, that stomach drop where you know that the image of a monster coming out of a giant’s nipple is going to stay with you for a while. And for that I say “You’re welcome dear reader”.

Dante’s Inferno got crapped on when it came out, people slated it for being a God of War rip off, despite God of War being a rip off of a hundred games before it. I read The Divine Comedy: Inferno years ago and the thought of the game coming out filled me with joy, on the most part the game played it safe, demons coming at you and basic platforming. Every so often though, as with Shadows of the Damned above, it turned gender and sexuality on its head, both to distract and repulse the gamer; namely in this lovely scene with Cleopatra who has become the size of a tower. And what comes out of those blue breasts? why little imps that want to kill you of course. As with Shadows of the Damned I say this is a truly valid use of nudity, unlike its counterpart God of War, this didn’t throw in breasts to be the source of fascination and eroticism to some 14 year old who got the game (illegally) for Christmas from parents that don’t care about age ratings; these breasts are supposed to be a juxtaposition to what we expect, and dare I say as a male want from our female nudity.

Special Mention

LA Noire

All The Naked Dead Bodies

Vomit Vomit Everywhere Toy Story Meme

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Ruaidhri

Big-Boss of PixelBedlam.co.uk
Ruaidhri has been writing for a number of sites over the past few years, spewing his vitriol and love in equal measures on all topics from Video Games to Film and Board Games to Geek Culture. He started PixelBedlam in September of 2012. Follow him on Twitter!

2 Comments

  1. freeman

    “got the game (illegally) for Christmas from parents”? are you the fcc’s bitch or somthing?

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